"To Papa with Love"

'Paapajaan' is what I also call the man
Who's made me to become who I am
As a kid I felt you kneel right beside me
And I always kept that extra chair for you
When I played house in make belief

Mom said I hurt you when I lied
Made me wonder coz I could never see your eyes
The eyes she said that also shed tears
When I did stuff she feared

I never skipped church or sunday school
Coz they said I could learn about you
I sang, I Drew and tried my best at memory verse
All I wanted then was to impress you Papa-'the maker of my universe'

Days passed and your little girl grew
I found others to impress and other dreams to be pursued
I loved you Papa but I had the world waiting
Everything around just so captivating

My heart now was torn between you and a man
All my conversations with you were now about him and our plans
I've got a new cellphone Papa and I wish you had one too
Would help me make sure you heard what all I needed from you

Papa? You there?It's been a while...
I need a hug Papa...I need your warm smile
The man I loved broke my heart
And all these months I blamed you for making my world fall apart
I felt mad and angry that you didnt care
And somedays I just wanted to run back and end the nightmare

I can never make you proud Papa Like I did at sunday school
I'm sorry I've let you down and have been such a fool
I wish I could turn back time and catchup on all that we could have done together
I've missed telling you about all that's been happening..everything! even the weather!

I love you Papa and there's nothing I long for more
To be your little girl and make you proud like before
I'm a lucky girl and you're the best Daddy ever
I don't deserve you and maybe have never
But You're my only Family now and forever!

"Mayonnaise Baatein"

A friend once said,
"Get on with life
Stay healthy keep fit
Eat chicken salad
With lots of mayo in it!
Smell like strawberry cheesecake
And give 'Axe'
A competition
Make excuses, brilliant ones
Never submit to opposition!
Idhar udhar
Sab barbaad hain
Sabne pehne firstclass naqab hain
So no tension
We're all part of it
Some destroy,Some pair up
Some amuse..that's their bit!
Bore hue tho dimaag ki bati jalao
Gaane likho,guitar bajao
Log kya jaane
What do people know?
Who's the conductor?
Where's the show?
The bored head
Nonsensical chatter
But what do they know?
What's making me fatter?
Blame the mayo!
Blame everything!
Pacify yourself by justifying things.
But worry not my friend
Na tu fiqar kar!
Zindagi kaatni hain, kat jayegi
Kabhi bore
Kabhi akele
Aur kabhi Dosto ke saath reh kar!"



Randomusing : "I know you'll know"
Janaab: "Apologies or Gratitude whichever pleases...as promised the cheesecake advice" (Preferred the blog to the report) :P

"Business as Usual"

Sunny skies
Morning dew
The mirror smiles
As I dress u
Nothing strange
Nothing peculiar
It's Business as usual

"Sunny side up
No milk please"
I watch you dress
Now with ease
Nothing strange
Nothing peculiar
It's Business as usual

Nervous smiles
Heartbeat loud
Your black robe
Makes me proud
Nothing strange
Nothing peculiar
It's Business as usual

Business suits
Plans and dreams
Ambitious chatter
Eyes that gleam
Nothing Strange
Nothing peculiar
It's Business as usual

The car crash
The telephone
Someone's dead
A Painful groan
Nothing strange
Nothing peculiar
It's Business as usual

Flowers and wreaths
Dust to dust
Part of me buried
And the other will rust
Nothing strange
Nothing peculiar
It's Business as usual

Emptiness and pain
A void made
Tears roll
Loneliness stays
Why is it strange?
Why is it peculiar?
How long before...It's Business as usual...

'Heart vs me'

"My heart feels ripped apart
it wishes to die down and never
beat again
It rises and falls
like the emotions and the tears
it wishes..it pleads...
to never love again

It pushes me away
It makes me want to go numb
to not feel the grace
I had believed in once
It cries and it weeps
and it slowly chooses to believe
That memories are weak
And people soon leave

I want you to embrace me
And hold this heart close
Before it breaks
Or just turns stone cold
I want to run up that hill
And feel the first drops
of rain
I want this heart to be revived
And get soaked in the rain
In the rain....
Of Grace again.

For you alone can sew through
This cut in my heart
You alone can take the pain
And turn it into a shout
You alone can converse
And make this stubborn heart believe
That though memories fade
And people leave
I still need a heart
To experience and share
'Your' love...
That will never cease..

'Ka Batayein Mausi'

Ab ka batayein Mausi

"Will you speak or may I?"

Arre bolet rahin sasuri
Zarra mike ki tho awaaz badayein!

"Gao main hamar
aye hain sarkar.
ka parade lagi hain!
laga hain pandaal
Bhaashan hone wala hain shuru
zara dekhein tho
kauno hero bhi aa raha hain... bola guru
Acting tho sahib ab dekhenge
Neta sheta sab jum ke karenge

Boli meeti,uff! woh waade
Naare baazi main
Hum bhi kho jawe
Par Sarkar badal do
Ya Sapne dikha do
Sach kahith hain lalli
Na badle hain hum
aur na badle hain woh!

Hum tho chale roti banane
Aate honge lalli ke Bapu
Sarkar badle tho badle
Hum tho dharen rahenge hamar duniya main
Jo na badle...Sarkar badalne se!

'The Plunge'

What if I had never let go
What if I had held on
What if I had let fear rule
What if I had waited for another dawn

What if I had turned my back
What if I had remained afraid
What if I had heard that voice
What if I had just stayed

BUT

The 'what if' disappeared
and I took the plunge
My heart racing
and my whole body numb
Split second decision
and sweet victory was mine
What was I thinking??
I dont think I can define!

What if?
Now I know
That you never really achieve
Till you let something go
Faith leads and you follow
The gulp of fear
You swallow

I stood on that cliff
You maybe standing on one too
Just take that plunge
Surrender anew
The God who made that cliff
Created the water below it too!!


(11-04-2009- Shivpuri)

'Stones'

I'm drained out
fully exhausted
the only sound
that rings
is the roar
of a laughter
A laughter
that drains out
the still small voice
I hurl a stone
and then another
A shout now accompanies
the laughter
"Hurting people
throw stones"
Go on throw
one more!
Does it matter?
Must I go through this?
Days like years?
Conversations
replaying in my ears?

He stands there
laughing....
having the last laugh
How many times
will I falter?
How many times
will I sacrifice?
How many more
hurting words
will I hurl across
Will it be me
always
paying the price?


I hear you
I understand
You're hurt
You're angry and mad
You condemn yourself
and you blame
you pick up a stone
to throw again
I see you
I see David
crying for his
captured wives
the other men
ready with stones
ready to strike
everyone bitter
everyone sour
and David maybe
too listening to
a similar roar

The laughter
must have been loud
Distressing like yours
his pain,
of loss
of losing someone dear
the same
But he found
his strength
in ME
he drained out that
laughter
he made it fade away
he stood again
to face stones
if they should appear

I am here
I'll take that stone
I know your loss
I know your heart
I'm here and so
My still small voice
will drain
that laughter out
I am your
strength
I am your rock
You dont need
stones anymore
Your ears will
hear just me
and the devil
will laugh nomore


This is inspired from the life of a man called David.A man I love and can so relate to.For all those who follow this blog...well no he's not my husband or boyfriend or brother..no! He's not my pastor or father..He is a very special person in the Bible..( if you are running out of books or my blog boring you..get a Bible (the complete,not just the new testament) and read through the books of 1 samuel and onwards...i bet it'll keep you up!
This above is from 1 samuel chapter 30..."He found his strength in God"...