Friday, June 19, 2009

"To Papa with Love"

'Paapajaan' is what I also call the man
Who's made me to become who I am
As a kid I felt you kneel right beside me
And I always kept that extra chair for you
When I played house in make belief

Mom said I hurt you when I lied
Made me wonder coz I could never see your eyes
The eyes she said that also shed tears
When I did stuff she feared

I never skipped church or sunday school
Coz they said I could learn about you
I sang, I Drew and tried my best at memory verse
All I wanted then was to impress you Papa-'the maker of my universe'

Days passed and your little girl grew
I found others to impress and other dreams to be pursued
I loved you Papa but I had the world waiting
Everything around just so captivating

My heart now was torn between you and a man
All my conversations with you were now about him and our plans
I've got a new cellphone Papa and I wish you had one too
Would help me make sure you heard what all I needed from you

Papa? You there?It's been a while...
I need a hug Papa...I need your warm smile
The man I loved broke my heart
And all these months I blamed you for making my world fall apart
I felt mad and angry that you didnt care
And somedays I just wanted to run back and end the nightmare

I can never make you proud Papa Like I did at sunday school
I'm sorry I've let you down and have been such a fool
I wish I could turn back time and catchup on all that we could have done together
I've missed telling you about all that's been happening..everything! even the weather!

I love you Papa and there's nothing I long for more
To be your little girl and make you proud like before
I'm a lucky girl and you're the best Daddy ever
I don't deserve you and maybe have never
But You're my only Family now and forever!